Basically Death Battle 8: Rick Sanchez vs Stewie Griffin
by Slake Jericho
Summary: A battle of tech commences as Rick Sanchez takes on Stewie Griffin!


(Death Battle theme)

 **Wiz: Technology, where would the world be without it?**

 **Boomstick: And sometimes technology can get so advanced that it could destroy the world!**

 **Wiz: Rick Sanchez, the Rickiest Rick.**

 **Boomstick: And Stewie Griffin, the smartest baby ever! He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick!**

 **Wiz: And it's our job to analyse their weapons, armour and skill to find out who would win a Death Battle.**

 **Rick Sanchez:**

First Appearance: Rick and Morty Pilot (December 2nd, 2013)

Age: 80

Height: 6'2

Occupation: Scientist, Inventor, and Arms Salesman

Affiliation: Smith Family, Rebels against the Galactic Federation, The Vindicators (Former)

Likes: Science, Booze, Money, Partying, Interdimensional television, McDonalds Schezwan sauce, Mine Craft, his daughter Beth, and his grandchildren Morty and Summer

Catch Phrase: WUBBA LUBBA DUB DUB!

Feats:

\- Has travelled the universe and the multiverse

\- Was once a rebel against the Galactic Federation

\- Has an incredibly vast criminal record across the universe

\- Survived an encounter with a Freddy Krueger knock- off with Morty

\- Prevented a race of intelligent dogs from taking over humanity shortly after

\- Built an amusement park inside of a homeless man

\- Out smarted interstellar scammers and made them blow themselves up

\- Kept out smarting the devil to the point where the devil attempted suicide

\- Later hulked out with his grand daughter Summer and beat the ever loving crap out of the devil as well

\- Accidentally destroyed the world by "Chronenberging" the entire population

\- Out smarted and beat the crap out of an immortal fourth dimensional being

\- Saved the earth from being blown up on an alien reality show with two hit songs

\- Managed to charm and have relations with a hive mind entity named "Unity" who assimilated an entire planet (including a Giraffe)

\- Created an entire universe to power his car

\- Survived a planet's murder festival and then helped to liberate them of their rich oppressive rulers

\- Took down the Galactic Federation, the council of Ricks, and got Beth to finally divorce Jerry all in the same day

\- Managed to take down an entire secret Russian agency by himself (As well as numerous other crazy things) as nothing more than a mere Pickle

\- Broke into the base of Super Villain "World Ender" (A super villain of the super hero team "The Vindicators) and brutally murdered him while he was piss ass drunk (to the point where he didn't even remember that he did so the following day)

\- Shortly after and while still drunk: Proceeded to rig that base with a bunch of SAW-esq traps that murdered the Vindicators 1 by 1 and even turned them against each other.)

\- Managed to out smart and take down a duplicate of himself who was a manifestation of Rick's "Toxins" who was just as intelligent and save the world from being "Toxified" in the process

\- Made peace between Palestine and Israel, Fought the president himself one on one who was armed with all kinds of weapons (Including a satellite laser) and got him to submit, made a mess of the white house, became an enemy of America, and then tricked the president into believing he was a Rick from another alternate universe to get off the hook (All of this happened within the same day)

Physicality:

Strength:

\- Strong enough to knock off an alien's arm/claw with his bare hands

\- Strong enough to fight large insect-like aliens with just his bare hands

\- Can easily hack off limbs with just the swing of an axe

\- Out muscled the president in a close range fight and forced him into a head lock

Durability/Endurance:

\- Can shake off being punched in the testicles and keep fighting

\- Once got punched by super strong arm he gave Morty and was sent flying a short distance, but he got up completely uninjured

\- Said arm was strong enough to bust open the heads of mutants and tear off limbs

\- Got hit by a floating orb from the super hero "Super Nova" right in his gut and was able to get back up/walk around

\- Took a beating from "Toxic Rick" who seemed to be equal to him physically

\- Was able to get up after being thrown hard enough to shatter through glass doors and breaking a table upon his landing followed by getting pummeled by his "Toxic" self

\- Endured his arm being gripped by a giant bird with razor sharp claws digging themselves into his arm

\- This bird was more than likely strong enough to tear off or crush the arm of a regular human

\- Got a solid bust smashed over his head by the president and got right back up

\- Got slammed into the ground with a gravity gun until he smashed through the floor and fell into the room below and was completely uninjured

\- Got smashed through multible flooors/ceilings/basements during his fight with the president and still showed no sign of injury

\- Didn't really react after the president punched him hard enough to make him bleed

\- Survived getting shot/punctured by a laser from his very own laser gun (Which can easily leave holes straight through people's bodies)

\- Could still walk around even with a punctured liver (and keep in mind: Rick is an alcoholic)

\- Endured his arm being torn off and immediately cauterized it with one of his gadgets

\- Survived a planet's murder festival and then helped to liberate them of their rich oppressive rulers

\- Took down the Galactic Federation, the council of Ricks, and got Beth to finally divorce Jerry all in the same day

\- Managed to take down an entire secret Russian agency by himself (As well as numerous other crazy things) as nothing more than a mere Pickle

\- Broke into the base of Super Villain "World Ender" (A super villain of the super hero team "The Vindicators) and brutally murdered him while he was piss ass drunk (to the point where he didn't even remember that he did so the following day)

Physicality:

Strength:

\- Strong enough to knock off an alien's arm/claw with his bare hands

\- Strong enough to fight large insect-like aliens with just his bare hands

\- Can easily hack off limbs with just the swing of an axe

\- Out muscled the president in a close range fight and forced him into a head lock

Durability/Endurance:

\- Can shake off being punched in the testicles and keep fighting

\- Once got punched by super strong arm he gave Morty and was sent flying a short distance, but he got up completely uninjured

\- Said arm was strong enough to bust open the heads of mutants and tear off limbs

\- Got hit by a floating orb from the super hero "Super Nova" right in his gut and was able to get back up/walk around

\- Took a beating from "Toxic Rick" who seemed to be equal to him physically

\- Was able to get up after being thrown hard enough to shatter through glass doors and breaking a table upon his landing followed by getting pummeled by his "Toxic" self

\- Endured his arm being gripped by a giant bird with razor sharp claws digging themselves into his arm

\- This bird was more than likely strong enough to tear off or crush the arm of a regular human

\- Got a solid bust smashed over his head by the president and got right back up

\- Got slammed into the ground with a gravity gun until he smashed through the floor and fell into the room below and was completely uninjured

\- Got smashed through multible flooors/ceilings/basements during his fight with the president and still showed no sign of injury

\- Didn't really react after the president punched him hard enough to make him bleed

\- Survived getting shot/punctured by a laser from his very own laser gun (Which can easily leave holes straight through people's bodies)

\- Could still walk around even with a punctured liver (and keep in mind: Rick is an alcoholic)

\- Endured his arm being torn off and immediately cauterized it with one of his gadgets

Speed:

\- Can out run aliens and large monsters on foot

\- Can dodge a speeding arrow from a crossbow at close range

\- Agile enough to dodge a barrage a constant laser fire

\- Can also navigate/drive/pilot his own ship which can travel all over over the galaxy in a short amount of time and react to things while it's in motion

\- Reacted to and dodged a laser beam shot down from space by a satellite

\- Possibly FTL (Possibly even MFTL) reaction speeds thanks to the two previous feats being very consistent

Other:

\- Despite his age, he is still remains quite agile, strong, and doesn't tire easily

\- Has a lot of energy and stamina

\- Seems to have peak human physicality

\- His original human body was destroyed, but his current body seems to be exactly the same of his old one (since it's just another Rick from another universe)

\- Later that body was also destroyed in a bout with "Toxic Rick" and was reborn into another body almost immediately

Cybernative Augmentation:

\- It appears Rick's body has cybernetic augments inside of him

\- Said Augments are said to be "Class C and above" according to a security guard

\- This could explain Rock's strength, speed, Durability, and Stamina

\- True extent of his augments is unknown

\- Some notable Augments include:

\- Has a mechanism inside his arm that fires a suction cup on a string to snag enemies weapons that can be dispatch when pressing a button on the side of his own head

\- His epidermis is laced with a nano-fiber defense mesh in case some one tries to strangle him, hold him by his neck, or crush his wind pipe

\- When pressure is applied to Rick's neck, he expels a blue energy wave that repels his enemies and knocks them a few feet back

\- Could possibly see invisible targets thanks to his augments

\- Was able to see the president's "Invisitroopers" despite them having invisibility cloaks and wasn't the least bit intimidated by them

Intelligence:

\- One of the smartest beings in his universe

\- Gives out traceable "genius" brain waves that allow aliens to find him

\- Counters this by having Morty around, who's brain waves make Rick's invisible (Assuming Morty is around)

\- Has created numerous inventions/gadgets (See below)

\- As a Pickle: Was able to manipulate the dead bodies of roaches by merely poking their brains with his tongue

\- Can use science to remove curses from objects

\- Is incredibly knowledgeable of many alien cultures and languages

\- Can hack computers and phones to keep himself from being properly tracked

\- Can easily find and disable security cameras

\- Claims he can turn a black hole into a sun

\- Is skilled with cloning and gene splicing

\- Has technology for making clones in a garage and regrowing any limbs he might have lost

\- Has created super viruses that infected the entire planet earth in less than a day

\- Has even displayed some amazing intelligence while completely inebriated/drunk (even to the point where he didn't remember what he did the previous day)

Resourcefulness and Crafting:

\- Can craft elaborate high tech devices/inventions/weapons in mere seconds

\- Is incredibly resourceful and can/will use what ever is around him to create to craft/build even with limited resources at his disposal

\- Is great at rigging traps, Rube Goldberg-esq contraptions, or even machines with what ever he can find be it every day objects, office supplies, trash, trees/plant life, or body parts of animals and insects

\- Can also rig up explosives with the same limited resources

\- Could do all that even after being turned into a pickle

\- Created a powerful space ship from "stuff he found in the garage" (See "Space Cruiser" below)

\- Created an infinite microscopic universe to power said space ship

\- Is one of the few people in the universe who knows how to make "Concentrated Dark Matter"

\- Built a device that allows him to tune into infinite universes for infinite television

\- Has built many kinds of weapons including ones that fire anti-matter

\- Could craft a fully functional working mechanical exoskeleton with just wood and rocks

\- Discovered a new element; the "toxic equivalent of electricity" by using nothing but extracted toxins in a tank

Manipulation:

\- Has out smarted professional alien scammers and even the devil himself

\- Has come up with incredibly elaborate plans to accomplish multiple goals (Though some feats required some prep time and prior knowledge of who/what he was up against)

\- Has out smarted and successfully manipulated/tricked other Ricks who are almost as smart as himself

\- Has even completely out smarted the galactic federation and even toppled their government on his own by destroying their economy

\- Is incredibly skilled at manipulating people: Fabricated a fake origin story that fooled a galactic federation agent and tricked him in order to hijack his body, and managed to get Beth to turn against Jerry

\- Is great at luring animals and people alike into the traps he can rig up

\- Managed to convince his opponent "Jaguar" to join his side after fighting for awhile

\- Was able to figure out and out smart a clone made out of his own Toxins

\- Rick tricked the government into believing he has a fake weakness that he himself made up

\- Managed to intimidate/scare a secret service guard to the point where the guard actually dropped dead after just touching him

\- Unknown if Rick did this with some kind of device or if it was complete manipulation/fear inducement

-Tricked the president into believing he was another Rick from another alternate universe to get off the hook after becoming an enemy of the USA

Fighting Skill:

\- Is good at wielding fire arms: A skilled sharp shooter who can even perform trick shots with ease

\- Is also a skilled sniper who can get consistent fatal/head shots

\- Seems to be adept at fighting bare handed; An experienced Brawler

\- Is also very skilled while wielding a two handed bo staff-like weapon

\- Was skilled enough to fight off two super powered child martial artists at the same time

Other:

\- Also has musical talent: Is a skilled musician and song writer

\- Knows how to treat himself from near-fatal wounds (Even as a pickle)

\- Can disguise himself if he has to (though some of his disguises are… REALLY obvious)

\- While drunk; was able to barge into the base of Worldender (A super villain who had a history of wiping out worlds) and violently killed him

\- While drunk; Was able to rig up a bunch of elaborate traps and puzzles to test the vindicators which ended up killing them or turning them against each other

\- Didn't remember doing the two previous feats the following day

\- Skilled in diplomacy: Made peace between the USA and a tiny alien village, and later in the same day made peace between Palistine and Isrieal with just a simple trip to a space cantina

\- Also programmed his ship to be just as good with diplomacy (It's also brought long wars to an end)

\- Rick has evaded the government spying on him and was able to sneak into the oval office with out anyone knowing

\- Has fourth wall awareness: Seems to be aware that he's in a show and talks to the viewer

\- Is aware of other shows doing concepts before his show did (like South Park doing a mine craft episode long before his show did)

Personality:

\- Despite his intelligence, he has a frat boy attitude and comes across as loud, vulgar, and crude

\- Very cynical, chaotic, nihilistic and has a low opinion about everyone/everything

\- Dislikes taking orders from others and dislikes authority in general

\- Has no problem killing others to get what he wants: Good and even to him are just artificial constructs

\- Acts like a total asshole to everyone he knows including his own friends and family to the point where he seems sociopathic

\- Deep down he cares more for them then he lets on and can be very protective (Especially when it comes to Morty) and occasionally helps others and makes less selfish decisions

\- Though Rick does enjoy having fun; Often throws parties, enjoys dancing, watching tv, or getting drunk/high even with people who more often than not try to kill him

\- Is actually depressed deep down

Weapons primarily used by Rick Sanchez:

\- Items that Rick usually takes with him on adventures or are portable enough to take with him anywhere

Portal Gun:

\- Rick's primary weapon

\- Used to make portals so he can pass through dimensions and travel the multiverse

\- Can be used to travel from planet to planet

\- Can be used to portal back to his work shop at any time (assuming he wants/needs to) so he can retrieve items

\- If a portal opens where someone is standing, it'll cut them in two

\- Can be used to portal water from a distant area to flood an entire room

\- Can make more than one portal at a time

\- Some portals lead to dimensions infested with monsters who reach out and grab opponents/targets

\- Can also shoot a portal that leads them to the "Blender Dimension", a dimension where they're immediately ground up by whirling blades upon entering

\- Can be fired under an opponent's feet so they can fall into another dimension

\- Portals only last for a few seconds and will close up automatically

\- Has a hidden switch that turns it into a bomb that sucks up a small group of surrounding targets while momentarily blinding/disorienting those who see the explosion itself

\- If used in excess, will run out of power quicker and need to be recharged elsewhere

\- Can be hacked remotely if he's not careful

\- Gaseous beings can't travel through his portals

\- Morty can also use Rick's portal gun and has borrowed/taken it on occasion

\- Though it's unknown if he can use it as well as Rick himself can

\- But when they're together, Rick is the one who often carries/uses the portal gun

Ray Gun:

\- Standard laser gun

\- Can easily blast through human and alien flesh

\- Can fire a potent red bolt that can make some one explode in a gruesome display

\- Contains a setting to instantly freeze targets as well

\- Frozen targets are left vulnerable brittle enough to simply shatter upon falling over

\- Has limited ammunition and needs to be reloaded with some sort of magazine

\- Has a built in grappling hook

Flask:

\- Taken with him everywhere

\- Contains an alcoholic beverage

\- Randomly takes swigs from it

Barrier (Watch):

\- Another function of Rick's watch

\- When activated, it will scan all potential threats in the area

\- Small force fields appear around Rick to block what ever bullets are about to hit

\- Can also redirect/bounce back bullets at the gunners themselves

\- Can also be used to block punches from his foes

\- Rick can also surround his entire body with a force field and roll around inside of it like a hamster ball

\- Barrier is powerful enough to block bullets and small missiles/rockets shot at him by the president

Laser blade (Watch):

\- Another function of Rick's watch

\- Shoots out a laser beam that easily slices people to pieces

Anti-Turret bots:

\- A small device that catches the bullets of turrets and uses them to make small robots

\- Said robots then hop on top of the turrets and secure themselves over them, plugging them up so they can explode if they try firing again

Bubble Gun:

\- Encases his targets in a bubble

\- The bubble then floats away to where ever Rick wants them to and then pop when they get there, releasing who ever is inside

\- In this case, the bubble floated Morty and Summer all the way to Jerry's apartment

\- They seemed to have made it rather quickly

\- These bubbles don't have any air inside, so it's possible that one can suffocate in them after awhile

\- Morty and Summer can't break out of these, though it's unknown how strong they really are

Collapsible staff:

\- A metal bo staff that can be folded down to fit in one of Rick's pockets

\- Used specifically for close quarters combat

\- Rick is surprisingly good at wielding it

\- Used it to fight off two super powered child martial artists at the same time

Coat Bomb:

\- Rick has a small bomb hidden within his lab coat

\- If Rick has been caught, he can activate a bomb in his coat and then slip out of his coat to escape

\- Detonates almost immediately after Rick is freed

Disintegration Bomb:

\- If it hits a target, they're instantly zapped into ashes

\- Rick carries very few and can run out quickly

Eye Drops:

\- Can mix a strange red liquid on the spot to then squeeze from his eyes from a strange round creature

\- Returns Rick's eye sight to normal in case his vision had previously been compromised in anyway

Freezing device:

\- Usually kept in his coat pocket

\- Can instantly freeze humans upon contact

\- Rick needs to get in close to use it and usually sneaks up on people to do so

\- Leaves them brittle enough to shatter upon simply falling on the floor

Grappling Hook:

\- Exactly what it sounds like

\- Allows him to latch onto surfaces and pull himself up

Grenades:

\- Small explosives that Rick can throw at targets

\- Create small explosions that can easily destroy drones

Memory Extractor Gun:

\- Shoots a bright white flash/light at the target's face

\- Might need to be in close range for this to work

\- Can be used to make people forget things that happened to them

\- Their memories are then able to be stored in colorful glass tubes

\- It's even possible to use this to make them forget everything about themselves and give them severe amnesia

\- Rick often uses this to erase Morty's memories

\- It's possible for one to resist enough while their memories are being extracted/forgotten to push and redirect the gun into Rick's face to erase HIS memories as well

\- Morty was able to do this

\- Likely this weapon can be used against Rick if he isn't careful, as he too isn't immune to it's effectd

Muscle Memory Extraction Device:

\- Extracts and redistributes muscle memory, muscle mass, and strength from other muscular limbs

\- Can even do so from severed limbs from dead people

\- Any muscular limbs he extracts from become skinny and limp and lack any real muscles

\- Any limb he injects the extracted muscles from will not only take the form of the limb they came from, but also gain the same combat experience and strength that the original user had

\- This allows the one injected to let their limbs do all the work in a fight

\- However, some times the limbs have a mind of their own and have their own agendas if they have unfinished business

\- But it is very possible they can talk to/communicate with these enhanced limbs and work something out/work together

\- Once they fulfill that unfinished business, they will disappear/go aware, making the user's limbs go back to normal and return them to base form

\- Can be used to either power himself up or power Morty up

Portable Microscope:

\- Usually kept in his coat pocket

\- Can zoom to see things on a subatomic level

\- Can help him figure out what things are made of if he's not certain

\- Also allows him to see if certain things are dangerous or not

Robot Arm:

\- A small device Rick can put on a bloody stump if he was to lose his arm

\- Cauterizes his wound and stops the bleeding before growing a fully functional robot arm

\- This arm can fire lasers capable of blowing up a large monstrous bird into bits with one hit

\- Can fire a beam that lifts small objects and bring them towards him

\- Can then scan said objects and project information about what ever they're made out of

Sanchez Ski Shoes:

\- Deployed on Rick's feet when he says "GO GO SANCHEZ SKI SHOES!"

\- Are rocket powered

\- Allow him to get to places much MUCH faster

\- Allow him to rocket up walls and slopes

Sticky Bomb:

\- A gun that fires a bomb with metal claws that latch onto a target

\- Upon sticking to the enemy, it immediately detonates

\- Can blow the head off an alien

Inventions not normally carried around:

\- Inventions that are normally stashed away at Rick's house or garage

\- Not normally carried with him or on him during adventures

\- Can likely be brought back with him if he portals back to his house with his portal gun

Time Stopping remote:

\- Used as a last resort

\- Stashed somewhere in his Garage

\- Once activated, it will stop time for however long he wishes until he presses the button again

\- Anyone close enough to him will not be frozen

\- Time will remain still even for months

\- Once time resumes, his "time" will need a few minutes to catch up with him

\- Until his "time" catches up, he becomes incredibly brittle and can be shattered upon making physical contact with some one else

\- Until his "time" catches up, if he's indecisive, he will split his reality into two simultanous timelines

\- In the process he will teleport into an area outside space and time into a world where everything "is" or "isn't"

\- Only has a limited amount of time to fix it before he ceases to exist with either a special device or by killing himself in the other timeline.

\- The more indecisive he is, the more the time line will split and the less time he will have to fix it

\- He can also attract the attention of 4th dimensional beings who will attempt to haul him to prison for messing with time

Robot Duplicates:

\- Rick has robot duplicates of himself, Morty, and Morty's sister Summer

\- Can switch places with them and use them as decoys/distractions

\- Act a little happier/sociable/more optimistic than their usual counter parts

\- His daughter Beth was fooled by these robots for 3 weeks straight with out realizing a thing

\- Unknown if they have combat capabilities or not

Neutrino Bomb:

\- A large bomb that runs on a timer

\- Is capable of blowing up entire planets and possibly even solar systems

\- Rick can rig these together even when he's drunk

\- Despite their power, they can still be disarmed (Especially if they were put together while Rick was drunk)

\- Though it's speculated that if Rick builds these when he's sober, they are more difficult to properly disarm

Beast Grenade:

\- A small creature in a grenade-like device

\- Once the pin is pulled out, it starts to rapidly begin growing

\- Rick strokes and pets the creature as it grows while saying things like "I love you" and "Good Boy" in order to immediately make it loyal to him

\- Once full grown, it gains large claws and teeth and it will attack who ever Rick points at

\- Can easily tear people like Rick himself to pieces and leave him nothing but mangled remains on the floor in seconds

Rebirth Gun:

\- A gun that allows Rick to cheat death/come back after being killed if used successfully

\- Will be pulled out if Rick is certain that he's about to die and needs a sure fire way of killing his foe as well as come back

\- Rick first injects a syringe/needle into his own neck before firing it out of the gun and into an enemy

\- Once it hits the enemy, it will inject them with Rick's essence and give them only seconds to live

\- Rick starts to reform as a baby inside of the enemy; most likely draining the host of their nutrients in the process

\- Shortly afterwards, the target dies, while Rick tears through their body as an infant before immediately growing back into his current age

\- Seems to work on any beings that have flesh and blood be them humans or aliens

Nanobot Gun:

\- Fires bullets encrypted nanobotic virus

\- When the bullets penetrate/wound the opponent, the opponent will have 20 minutes before they are disintegrated in 20 minutes

\- If Rick hits them with a second bullet, he can speeds up the process to about 10 minutes

\- Can potentially speed up the process further the more bullets he unloads into his target

Drones:

\- Six flying drones that are each different colors

\- Can be remotely sent to apprehend their targets from a great distance if Rick can figure out where his target is

\- Ensnare the target with robotic tendrils and also can deploy small guns underneath

\- Can also come together to form into a little voltron-like robot complete with a sword

\- Though what the Voltron form is capable of is yet to be seen

\- They're awesome

\- You can't keep the drones

Paralyzer Wave:

\- Releases a powerful wave of energy that paralyzes everyone else in the area outside of his house/garage

\- Though the paralysis only lasts for five minutes, so Rick needs to figure out what to do before they get back up

\- Was used to stun a neighborhood's worth of sentient squirrels who were secretly running the world and were trying to kill Morty for knowing too much

\- Though this device seems embedded into Rick's desk, so it's unlikely that he can bring this with him and instead uses it as home security

Collapsed Equanum Tesserac:

\- A strange item that is used like a piece of chalk to draw portals on surfaces

\- These portals lead to "Frululand" which was an "imaginary" world Rick originally made for Beth when she was a child

\- Can also draw portals in "Frululand" to exit back to the real world

\- In "Frululand", the ground in bouncy like rubber, the rainbow colored rivers are breathable, and the swamps are filled with honey

\- As of now, it is swarming with strange inbred hybrid monsters made as a result of a boy named "Tommy" who's lived there all his life constantly breeding with and eating the inhabitants for years

\- Some of these creatures are dangerous with the birds being strong enough to tear off human arms

Butter Robot:

\- A robot who questions it's purpose

\- It's purpose is to pass butter

\- "Oh my god"

\- Isn't interested in hanging out

Other stuff:

Axe:

\- Just a regular old axe that Rick has laying around

\- Used to smash the large vats his clones were stored in and hack the clones themselves into bits

\- Could most likely be used to do the same thing to his opponent(s)

Candy:

\- Rick seems to carry loads of candy in his pockets

\- Can be used to distract/bait people who like it (Such as children)

Krutabulon Sword:

\- Used by Morty

\- Most likely lent to him by Keara

\- Used for hunting other aliens known as "Garmos"

\- Morty was able to use it to kill several of them

\- Can easily slice off their limbs and be plunges straight through their heads/bodies

\- Doesn't seem to have any attributes that stick out

Mr. Meseeks:

\- "I'M MR. MESEEKS! LOOK AT ME!"

\- Once summoned, they are commanded by those who summoned them

\- They will go through any lengths possible to accomplish any task set fourth by their creator

\- Afterwards, they cease to exist

\- However, there are some tasks that are impossible for them or simply outside of their capabilities

\- Will summon another Meseeks for help if the task is too difficult for them to accomplish on their own

\- Merely existing is painful and strange to a Meseeks, which is why they want to accomplish their task as soon as possible

\- Are seemingly immortal and come back after being ripped apart.

\- The only way for them to disappear is for them to fulfill their task/command or if the one who summoned them is killed

\- Two days feels like an eternity to them

\- The longer a Meseeks stays alive, the more it will drift into insanity and try to assassinate the one who summoned them to begin with

\- Can arm themselves with knives and guns

Shared by both Rick and Morty:

Space Cruiser:

\- Made from "stuff he found in the garage"

\- Primarily piloted by Rick

\- Morty was taught by Rick how to pilot it as well and does so in case Rick can't for what ever reason

\- Powered by an infinite microscopic universe known as "Microverse Battery"

\- Can fly/hover

\- Can travel to different corners of the galaxy within seconds (FTL)

\- Is durable enough to crash land almost anywhere with little to no damage

\- Contains a monitor and interdenominational googles for scanning through alternate universes so he can find ones that are identical to the one he's currently in and travel to them just in case

\- Can dispatch a ray gun that can make things grow to immense sizes (Made a dead naked homeless man into the size of the USA)

\- Can deploy hidden laser guns from the back to blast pursuers behind it

\- Rick can hook up an external power source to the ship to fire out a much more powerful blast of energy

\- Has enough fire power to kill an entire army

\- Can be car jacked if Rick forgets to arm the security system

Security System:

\- Contains a rather advanced/powerful security system

\- Can shoot lasers that can cut humans to multiple pieces in seconds if they get too close; leaving them a pile of meat cubes on the ground

\- Can aim lasers with such precision that it severs one's spinal cord and leaves them paralyzed from the waste down

\- Can scan some one and then find crucial information about them in mere seconds

\- Seems to do this by searching information of them all over the internet and obtaining important data in a matter of seconds

\- Can create clones of an intruder's/target's loved ones which then melt in front of them as a form of psychological warfare

\- The AI has diplomatic expertise, bringing an end to a long time war between humans and giant spiders and making peace between them in less than a day

Additional guns:

\- Rick has a large arsenal of various kinds of laser guns at his disposal

\- Most of which are stashed in the garage

\- Can arm himself and Morty with these to take on hordes of aliens

\- How the weapons themselves differ from each other isn't clear

Grappling shoes:

\- Allows the wearers to walk on any surface, regardless of the incline or texture

\- Can be used to run up walls for easier escape

\- Can be used to walk down steep cliffs with out having to worry about falling

\- Need to be turned on first before they can work

Combat Suits:

\- Carried in a small FTL pod

\- Pod needs to be deployed from home to use

\- Needs to send off a beacon from a high place so it can find them

\- Takes a few minutes to arrive if they're out in space/on another planet

\- Though it's possible Rick can portal back and fourth to his garage to get them quicker if he still has his portal gun

\- Acts as protective armor to cover their entire bodies (except for their faces)

\- Can fire missiles to blow up a whole group of targets

\- Can fire consecutive lasers that easily pierces through flesh

\- Makes them strong enough to easily rip people in two and smash them into pieces

\- Has rockets under their feet for flight and quick travel

\- Shoots out a small electric pulse/ray that can immediately stun/knock out another person

\- Retractile wrist blades which can easily decapitate people

\- Deplorable wrist buzz-saw

\- Wrist mounted flame thrower

\- Has built in speakers to play music while being used

Scuba Gear:

\- Just standard Scuba gear used for going under water

\- Was used to explore the lost city of Atlantis

\- Rick also has a harpoon gun

\- It's unknown if his harpoon gun has any special features

Not Normally on hand but are shared by both Rick and Morty:

Morphizer-XE:

\- Found in Rick's garage

\- Can be used to turn people giant or turn objects giant

\- Can also make individual body parts bigger to make an individual deformed

\- Can also turn some one inside out

\- Can turn people/thinks into diamonds

\- Was run by three small aliens inside who manage it, but they were released/freed by Beth

\- Though it's possible one can figure out how to use the machine with out them

\- Morty is able to figure out how it works and manipulate it

Jet Packs:

\- A pair of jet packs that can be strapped onto either of their backs

\- Allow Rick and Morty to fly to far away/high up places in a very short amount of time

\- Used mainly for getting places or for quick escapes

\- Both of them can control/maneuver them through the air just fine

Everything Magnet:

\- A magnet that can literally attract anything that one types/keys into it

\- Seems to have a powerful pull and the range of an entire neighborhood

\- Example: If one keyed in "Zip Tie", it would attract all Zip Ties in the area making them stick to the magnet

\- Can also be used on people

\- Morty used it to attracted all the sexy red head girls in the area

\- Though that didn't end well

Weaknesses:

\- Is still human and susceptible to mortal injury

\- The more inebriated he becomes, the less rational he becomes (But he still remains surprisingly competent/dangerous)

\- If his portal gun breaks or runs out of power, he'll remain stuck/stranded

\- Likewise with his space cruiser, which can be car jacked if he doesn't enable the security system before hand

\- Despite his genius, he is capable of making the wrong choices and can even make things worse

\- With out Morty around, his "Genius" brain waves can be picked up/detected by higher life forms

\- Doesn't have all his devices on him on hand and might need to fetch them from either his space cruiser or the garage

\- Has a genuine fear of pirates

Rick Sanchez: "Maybe I don't connect because I'm the Rickest Rick there is!"

 **Stewie Griffin:**

Age: 1

Aliases: Darth Stewie, Adolf Stewie, Tan Stewie, etc.

Occupation: Student, depending on the episode or cutaway gag

Origin: Family Guy

Powers and Skills:

Genius-Level Intellect

Good at hand to hand combat

Swordsmanship

Master Strategist/Tactician

Weapons/Equipment:

Ray guns

Shotgun

Handgun

Crossbow

Mind Control Device

Mass Hypnosis Device

Peter Bot

Micro-Ship

Hovering Drill

Baseball Bat

Knife

M2 Flamethrower

Multiverse Traveller

Robot Walker

Bombs

Golf Club

Rocket Launcher

Stewie: "Lois, Lois, Lois, Lois, Lois, mom, mom, mom, mommy, mommy, mommy, mama, mama, mama, ma, ma, ma, ma, mom, mom, mom, mom, mommy, mommy, mama, mama, mama..."

 **Wiz: Alright, the combatants are set, it's time to end this debate once and for all!**

 **Boomstick: IT'S TIME FOR A DEATH BATTLE!**

In a split screen, Rick and Stewie were traveling through universes with their devices. When they reached Rick's garage, they noticed each other.

"What the?" Rick said.

"What the deuce?" Stewie said. "Another universe hopper? Well we both know there can be only one!"

FIGHT!

Stewie grabbed a ray gun and began shooting at Rick, but he dodged out of the way and took cover behind the garage. Rick took out a ray gun of his own. He jumped out and shot at Stewie, who quickly rolled out of the way. They started shooting at each other, both either missing or the other dodged it. Stewie aimed the ray gun at the wall Rick was hiding behind and shot through it. Rick threw a sticky bomb at Stewie, who shot it with a shotgun. It exploded, but Stewie rolled backwards and took out a handgun. Rick reloaded a machine laser gun and rolled out of cover, opening fire on Stewie. Stewie ran as the laser bullets followed close behind him. He spun around and shot at Rick. The bullet missed Rick and instead hit the laser gun. Rick dropped the gun and got his watch. Stewie shot at Rick again, but a force field surrounded Rick and the bullet bounced back. The bullet hit Stewie's arm. A laser came out of Rick's watch as he aimed it at Stewie. Stewie jumped over the hood of a car and took cover behind it. The laser suddenly cut through the car where Stewie was. Rick stopped and went over to the car. Stewie was nowhere to be found. Instead there was a bomb. Rick tried to run, but the explosion sent him flying into a wall. He got up to see Stewie holding a baseball bat. Stewie went to hit Rick with it, but Rick blocked it with his collapsible staff. They blocked their attacks before Rick knocked Stewie over by hitting him with the staff. Stewie rolled back up and hit Rick's knee with the bat. Rick quickly shot Stewie with the bubble gun as a giant bubble encased Stewie. Rick took out his watch, but before he could hit Stewie, he used his multiverse traveller to escape. Rick got the portal gun and shot it at a wall. Stewie ended up at the Griffin's house. Rick appeared from the wall. Stewie ran at Rick and tried to punch him, but Rick just held him backwards with one hand, taking a sip of his flask. He put the flask back before kicking Stewie backwards. He got the disintegration grenade and threw it at Stewie, but Stewie escaped before it could hit him. Stewie got a flamethrower and set Rick's arm on fire. Rick quickly took his burning lab coat off and threw it at Stewie. Stewie looked at it when it suddenly exploded, sending him flying backwards. Stewie saw a bomb he dropped and pulled out a golf club. He hit the bomb into Rick and sent him into the Griffin house's window. Rick smashed through the table where the family were eating. Rick got up and threw multiple grenades out of the window. Stewie rolled out of the way of the explosion. Rick jumped out of the window and threw candy on the ground.

"OH MY GOD, CANDY!" Stewie shouted as a thousand other kids joined him.

Rick jumped into the gun and used his freezing device to freeze Stewie in place. Rick took out his axe as all the kids ran away.

"Well, I-I-I must say, it was nice knowing you!" Rick said. "But BURP but everyone's time comes a-at some point!"

He used the axe to decapitate the frozen Stewie.

Rick used the portal gun and walked into it.

 **KO!**

On Rick's side of the screen, Rick made a new weapon in his garage. On Stewie's side of the screen, his body fell over and smashed to a million pieces.

 **Boomstick: Talk about child murderers!**

 **Wiz: This one was no surprise at all. While Stewie had normal weapons and a ray gun, Rick had more advanced technology that helped him.**

 **Boomstick: Plus, Rick's intellect is way better than Stewie's!**

 **Wiz: The height advantage also gave Rick the advantage.**

 **Boomstick: I guess you could say that was some Rick-Tality!**

 **Wiz: The winner is Rick Sanchez.**

 **Next time...**

A man wielding a hammer, wearing a helmet, with a red cape and blonde hair flew down to the ground.

"I have come to destroy thee, thy devil!" he said.

"Another God?" the figure asked.

A dark man with a red cape and green eyes stepped out of an alleyway.

Thor vs Spawn.


End file.
